Here's a Jingle for Goldfish, I Wrote a Song for Goldfish...
So it's 12:47 Am, and I should not be staying up writing a stupid blog post. But I am. Why?
2. That man is far to happy about his catch. And he has some pretty sickening facial hair. The reason this is frightening is because my brother recently had some pretty traumatizing facial hair... would you want to be reminded of THIS every time you close your eyes?!
So that is why I am still awake at what is now 1:00 Am. That's right...what is happening to me is what is called sleep deprivation. Several things to keep in mind about not sleeping...all from experts on the subject such as The Hamburglar and Snuffleupagus.
1. "Sleep deprivation is highly unhealthy and should not be attempted under free will. Lack of sleep may result in irritability, blurred vision, slurred speech, memory lapses, overall confusion, hallucinations, nausea, psychosis, and eventually death." (Overall confusion and hallucinations are basically normal behavior for me...but wow...some of the other side effects - "death" - sound kind of serious. Hmm...So it looks like what I am doing could also be called "SUICIDE").
2. Total sleep deprivation in rats leads to death in around 28 days (Well, I'm not a rat, but I am guessing that this news still wouldn't be able to filed in the catagory of "good news".)
3. Sleep deprivation has been shown to increase a man's chance to develop "ED". (GREEEEAAATTTT....I will refrain from commenting on that one.)
So considering all of that information, I am going to go ahead and go to sleep... I will just have to deal with dreams of frightening gold-fishermen with big beards.
Annnnnnnnnnnddddddd out.
Well, this picture will explain it all.
Any idea who the fat man is? Neither do I. But, he has a beard and is holding possibly the largest goldfish I have ever seen. So why is this relevant to the post? It's because this man inspired me. He inspired me to never sleep again. Let me explain...
I was surfing the world wide web tonight, and came across this picture randomly. I fear that if I do as much as take a nap again, I will have the most horrific dream. A dream about a fat man with a monsterous goldfish. This is terribly frightning for two reasons...
1. Goldfish are supposed to be little, helpless fish living in a bowl. That thing is a beast. That thing could probably bite my face open (which could actually be a postitive step for my acne problem).
Any idea who the fat man is? Neither do I. But, he has a beard and is holding possibly the largest goldfish I have ever seen. So why is this relevant to the post? It's because this man inspired me. He inspired me to never sleep again. Let me explain...
I was surfing the world wide web tonight, and came across this picture randomly. I fear that if I do as much as take a nap again, I will have the most horrific dream. A dream about a fat man with a monsterous goldfish. This is terribly frightning for two reasons...
1. Goldfish are supposed to be little, helpless fish living in a bowl. That thing is a beast. That thing could probably bite my face open (which could actually be a postitive step for my acne problem).
2. That man is far to happy about his catch. And he has some pretty sickening facial hair. The reason this is frightening is because my brother recently had some pretty traumatizing facial hair... would you want to be reminded of THIS every time you close your eyes?!
So that is why I am still awake at what is now 1:00 Am. That's right...what is happening to me is what is called sleep deprivation. Several things to keep in mind about not sleeping...all from experts on the subject such as The Hamburglar and Snuffleupagus.
1. "Sleep deprivation is highly unhealthy and should not be attempted under free will. Lack of sleep may result in irritability, blurred vision, slurred speech, memory lapses, overall confusion, hallucinations, nausea, psychosis, and eventually death." (Overall confusion and hallucinations are basically normal behavior for me...but wow...some of the other side effects - "death" - sound kind of serious. Hmm...So it looks like what I am doing could also be called "SUICIDE").
2. Total sleep deprivation in rats leads to death in around 28 days (Well, I'm not a rat, but I am guessing that this news still wouldn't be able to filed in the catagory of "good news".)
3. Sleep deprivation has been shown to increase a man's chance to develop "ED". (GREEEEAAATTTT....I will refrain from commenting on that one.)
So considering all of that information, I am going to go ahead and go to sleep... I will just have to deal with dreams of frightening gold-fishermen with big beards.
Annnnnnnnnnnddddddd out.
posted by Matt Huber at 11:23 PM
3 Comments:
I hate you.
well eduardo - you are a very sexy beast, and your blog is not as pointless as most...
Wes
wow...all i can say is WoW...where do you come up with these things? and you should give me SOME crdeit for the idea of finding a goldfish pic
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