I have been rocked. Hard.

This is going to be a post about things that rock me.
Before beginning, I will explain what it is like to be rocked:
- You know that feeling that you get when you just begin eating a big piece of pizza after being hungry for hours on end? That feeling is called "being rocked".

- After a huge burp, you've rocked not only yourself, but everyone around you.

- When you listen to an amazing song that you haven't heard in a long time (like Hanson's "Mmmbop") and you go totally crazy because of the sheer sweetness of the song, you've been rocked. Speaking of Hanson, get ready to be rocked.



I would definitely date the girl on the left.

Additionally, you are rocked when something crazy or life changing occurs in your life. Something crazy like wrecking your car, getting fired for committing a felony at the workplace, being punched in the face while sleeping, or finding out that you have an irreversible/untreated case of irritable bowel syndrome. So, that being said, being rocked can have both positive and negative connotations. But it is usually a good thing. I will make sure to distinguish between the two.

Anyway. You have got a pretty good idea of what it means to be rocked now, I believe.

So, things that have rocked me this week are as follows (I will also indicate the level of rockage from 1-5; 1 being quasi-rocked to 5 which indicates being rocked so hard that it causes severe instant mental retardation):


1. This week, I have had the opportunity to get to further develop relationships with some amazing individuals here in Columbus. These individuals are as follows (Please don't be offended if I don't list you. I mean seriously. You know I love you.):

• Brian Estabrook: This man, as I stated earlier, may as well be my father (no offense to my actual father, of course.). He smells of fresh roses and lavender. And his voice is about as pleasing as a good calf massage. He has enlightened me in many ways, and officially belongs on the list of people who have deeply affected my life as a Christian.
• My Brother, Aaron: He just left for Purdue again, but he is still in my heart. Talk about a great brother. The love we have for each other is so deep, it is almost unnatural. Okay, I take that back. It is definitely unnatural.
• Sarah Sweigard: She just left for Argentina. I never really got the chance to get to know her very well, until this past week. She's a wise woman of God, and I truly appreciate the advice and encouragement she offered me before she left for her missions trip. But I feel like she is only friends with me to use me. Hmmmmmmmm.
• Kelli Thompson: Courageous Kelli Thompson! She got 12 inches of her hair hacked off, and donated it. So I finally got to see the results of the minor hair trim, and I must say, I was very impressed - b-e-a-utiful. (by the way, this haircut rocked her...see how how this works?). That aside, I had a fantastic time hanging out with her at the LCT cast party. My only regret is that she had to depart and work on a research paper. Bahhhhhhhhh!

I am a lucky man. Listed above are 4 of those one-in-a-million people - down-right genuine people. Seeing as the chance of meeting a one-in-a-million person is obviously 1/1000000, simple mathematics reveal that I have basically defied probability. The chance of meeting 4 of these people is 1 out of 1 x 10^24. Wow. I was rocked just typing that. When considering the level of rockage, I was going to rate it as a 5, but I do not believe that I suffered mental damage, so I am forced to rate it as a 4. Level of Rockage: 4


2. I ate, for the first time in years, Count Chocula cereal. After eating it, I lost control of all bodily functions, out of sheer bliss. Needless to say, it was a mess, but it was definitely worth it. I also went permanently numb on the left side of my body, so it is safe to say that I suffered brain damage. Level of Rockage: 5


3. I saw someone on the street who looked exactly like Burt Reynolds. I went ahead and threw a huge piece of firewood at his knees. I was rocked. Level of Rockage: 3

4. I realized that I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am deeply questioning the plans I have for my future, realizing that my plans are selfish and meaningless. I don't want to spend my life merely making money. That seems like such a bloody waste of a life that could be used solely to serve and spread the love and salvation of Jesus Christ. So I am deeply rocked. My soul is distressed. So on that note, I would greatly appreciate prayer and insight. Level of Rockage: 5

So wow. I think I just posted a huge post.
So keep rockin' my friends. Thanks for rockin' me.

In closing, I would like to report some tragic news.
It has been reported that Snuffleupagus, the huge hairy elephant of Sesame Street, has been murdered.

You can read the full article here.

Farewell.
-M@
May he rest in peace.