Semi-Derogatory Term of the Day: Bingo Wings

Haha. I am still laughing. Well, I just heard someone use the term bingo-wings. Apparently, bingo-wings are the flabby under-arms that most older folk sport. The hilarious things that could be said...


That aside, today I learned several important facts of life:

1. The range of an Asians' vision is, in fact 360 degrees. Yet another reason Asians are superior to us white-folk (they are also unstoppable mathematicians, invisible fighter-ninjas, and excellent at time-traveling and making tasty chicken-based foods).
2. I am most productive when submerged in 200 degree bath water for long periods of time.
3. A narthex is an enclosed entrance to a church, not a part of the human urinary system.
4. It is not cool to wear huge boots in public. Yes, I am talking to you, girl who thinks she's uber-trendy and sexy. Today I saw a girl wearing huge shorts and a heavy jacket and then a pair of massive UGG boots. Give me a break... before you know it, girls are going to start dressing like Joyce, the famous composer of many early 80s thrash metal hits. I just picked up her record today. Hopefully this will get you excited enough to go out and buy it yourself...just a preview of just how brutally rockin' her music is...

Well, today I took a quiz in Calculus (at OSU) and did very poorly. I have been brooding over this test for hours now, and it has put me in a stabbing mood. I just want to stab things - it really doesn't matter WHAT I stab... though it would be very pleasing to stab a giant or an elephant, or maybe even a bear. So, I realized that if I were to stab something as large as a giant or bear, I need a pretty sweet knife. So, I did a Google search, and I found the solution...

Heck yes. Yes yes yes. Ohhh yeah. Just by looking at this picture, my impulse to stab has been satiated. Well, this guy's name is Harry Saarinen. He's some crazy guy (who usually sports a massive afro) who make things that are just HUGE. It doesn't matter what it is. Do you want him to make a huge knife? DONE. How about a huge tuna fish? DONE. Carrot? DONE. Any other useless huge item? DONE. You just don't mess with someone like Harry. I wouldn't put it beyond him to get furious and make a monstrous spoon and spank your little pansy tuckus.

Well, I should really be going now. But before I go, I would like to apologize for a bit of a misunderstanding. I was not LITERALLY swamped with coursework as I said in my previous post. That would mean that I was submerged in coursework, which is highly unlikely. I have been swamped with some very interesting things in my life-time (like human filth and a cleaning solution called "Orange Force") but never been literally swamped with coursework.

Hope y'all can accept my apology.

Fare thee well.

A short post describing why I haven't posted in many days.

So, you are all probably wondering where I went.

I'll just go ahead and summarize what has happened in the past 15 days.
Summary
1. I have been deeply reconsidering my college/career plans. I concluded that my motives were selfish - my plans were not rooted in the will of God.
2. I have been literally swamped with my college coursework, from studying for exams to homework.
3. I work whenever I am not at school.
4. I sleep whenever I don't have to study, don't have school and don't have work.
5. I adopted 16 apes and I am currently teaching them how to play Candy Land.

That leaves....Uhhhh zero time for the most important part of my life...blogging.

So, my apologies. I plan on resuming my normal posts as soon as possible.

On the brighter side of things, I have achieved several incredible feats:
1. I made a 90 degree turn (at 35 mph) in my car using my knee alone.
2. All 3 of my meals today consisted only of cake and cookies.
3. I inhaled liquid soap through my left nostril by accident and spent about 5 minutes flushing it out with water.
4. I ran 1/32 of a mile without running out of breath or convulsing.
5. I have been lifting huge weights, killing people and tanning constantly. Here is a recent picture of me (I took it 2 days ago after working out for 12 hours straight).



I can't believe how incredible I am. Especially that whole running thing. Bring it.

Well, I really can't stay online any longer.
mmmmmbop.